Hi Jac,
I know all seems lost. I can only tell you that you are in the gambling fog… You won’t know what its like to be out of that fog until you are free of it for a good amount of time. Once out of it you will see things more clear. You saying all that although it probably feels that way is a defeatist attitude. That is the talk of a gambler who just wants to continue gambling and really want to kill themselves because they are out of money and want to continue gambling. The reason being… gambling helps them forget the problems and feel ok for even just a moment. These problems could have been with you from early childhood. You gambled as medication to shield you from a number of other real problems that you have at the core.
I feel for you… but don’t think you want to quit gambling. You never talk about quitting. You just want to talk about the bets. The pay outs. The gambling…
If your daughter wrote what you just wrote what would be your advise to her? Would you tell her to fight or throw in the towel? Should we all just throw in the towel when the going gets tough? I guess so based on your philosophy. I don’t agree.
