Ive just read right through your thread.
Firstly well done on that blocker, yes, there was a little blip there, it really does come down to means and opportunity and I was happy to read you have ensured there is no more opportunities on your phone!
I agree with what you say about still wanting to gamble, ive never really thought about it that hard before but you are right. ….. having the barriers are such a help. Because you KNOW you cant do it, you tend to think about something else. What a godsend really!!!! In saying that, I’m sure people find other ways…..me, I’m too lazy to look for them not to mention too busy! I often wonder where I found the time to spend those countless hours in a venue. I guess I didn’t sleep very much back then, out late at night and just functioning in the morning….ugh.
Busy is good. I have a trip booked with my best friend for October, we have both taken on extra work to pay for some of it and our motto at the moment is ‘no one ever died from being tired’ (well, unless you fall asleep at the wheel of a car or something) along with ‘we will sleep when we are dead’!
My life is a bit overwhelming at the moment, with work, home, my daughter is about to have a baby, trying to plan this trip etc. Usually I would run to the venue and zombie out. Too much for my brain to process so lets just gamble and not think about it…which in turn gives me more stress, a constant sick feeling in my stomach, headaches and eyes that look like 2 spoons of jam (that’s Veras description, very accurate!! lol).
When I first stopped gambling I remember posting about not knowing what to do because I didn’t feel sick anymore and I had been feeling sick for so long it felt abnormal not to feel sick! How warped is that!
Anyway, my point (if there is one) is that my exclusion barrier has given me my life back.
Whatever works….we are all different and I think we just need to find our own way towards recovery. Thankfully this site (and others) gives us some guidance on how to do that. I guess its just a matter of whether we are ready to take it on board and actually take action. I think I may be babbling here!!! I really just wanted to say hi, to say that I’m following your journey and I am happy you are doing what you need to for your recovery.
Take care, K xxxx
