Hi Hope
Ultimatums to a person with the addiction to gamble are a waste of breath, it is important never to threaten something unless you mean to carry it through. Your husband’s addiction is the master of threats and manipulation, if you make a threat and don’t see it through his addiction will grow stronger as it senses a chink in your armour.
Nobody should try and tell you to leave or to stay because it is ‘your’ life and decisions must come from you. Living with the addiction to gamble destroys self-confidence and self-esteem so making an informed decision is often the first step towards healing. If, after all your deliberations you decide to stay we have masses of information to help you cope – if however you decide to leave there will be no judgement here because it is sad fact that some gamblers do not change their lives unless they are allowed to fall all the way on their own.
Your thread is entitled ‘hope’ and I offer you this – I would not be writing to you if the addiction to gamble could not controlled. The gambler in my life did change and has since told me that as long as I enabled he could not see the point in facing his terrible addiction so estrangement was necessary for him and for me.
This forum will offer you support for as long as you want it and likewise in the group on Tuesday evening 20.00-21.00 hours UK time you will be welcomed and understood.
There is not always a good outcome for those who love gamblers and sometimes it is hard to know which way to go but to use my favourite quote by Mahatma Gandi, “You may never know what results come from your actions but if you do nothing there will be no results”.
I wish you well – keep posting
Velvet
