Hi Hope
When you see him tonight don’t mention money but ask him about his day. If he bangs on about not having any funds then I suggest you just smile and say that it is not your problem and carry on busying yourself – once you get involved in a discussion on money it is incredibly difficult not to be manipulated.
It is not set in stone that he will do the same at the end of the month – one day I truly believe he will launch into a decent recovery – the sooner that he is not assisted financially the sooner he will have to change his ways.
In my opinion fathers feel differently from mothers when their sons are addicted to gambling. I think they struggle with unnecessary guilt thinking perhaps they should have protected their wives better (we are the weaker sex after all!). They often doubt their input into the child’s upbringing thinking that maybe if they had done this or that it would have been different – and of course they miss the father/son relationship that they hoped for. No amount of ‘maybes’ ‘what ifs’, ‘if onlys’ would have made a scrap of difference however. Unfortunately it is only in a true recovery that CGs are able to appreciate those around them and hopefully when you son reaches that point he will be able to reassure you that there was nothing that you did that triggered his addiction.
I suggest you set side time with your husband when you do something that pleases you both and doesn’t remotely include gambling or even the ‘g’ word.
I am glad we will ‘speak’ later
Velvet
