Hi Hope
When I first came on to this site I was under the impression that my CG was writing in My Journal and I made up my mind that I would never read anything he had written as his recovery was the most important thing to me and I believed (and still do) that if he needs to talk to his peers then that is him protecting his recovery.
What I eventually become aware of (mainly because he corrected me one day on something I had written) was that my CG was reading my thread. Fortunately for me he was able to talk to me about his concern because by then we were already communicating quite well – I am concerned that your son might feel he had nobody to talk to if he was unhappy with something he read on your thread. My CG correcting me was an important step forward because he was trusting me not to start raking over old ground or coming out with comments that didn’t help. He knew he could correct me which was new behaviour for him because before rehab he would have gone to ground and festered until he gambled. Listening is more important than talking to a CG, post rehab, because we can say things that trigger the wrong reactions without knowing we are doing it
I am also concerned that it could mean that your support was compromised – maybe you would you start subconsciously writing to him in your posts rather than putting yourself first. You need your support so that you can support him.
If he is gambling and is not prepared to talk to you when you tell him what you are feeling, then maybe it is time to try something different. Perhaps it would be better if you said something like – I am here for you when you are ready to talk – and leave it at that.
Try and enjoy his company without the gambling always in the conversation because probably the time to talk is coming if he hasn’t got his train ticket and needs money.
Keep posting and I will keep thinking
V
