HI Hannar, i get this one completely. i haven’t been honest with my husband because he has never shown me he can be trusted with my honesty. We sometimes are so wrapped up in our own mistakes and guilt that we don’t see that we are not the only untrustworthy ones in the relationship.
Trusting a loved one with our shame and then having it thrown back in our faces is low…very low.
They excuse their behavior by playing the victim,the hurt one, the let down one, but the person on the receiving end of emotional abuse is just as much of a victim.
i often notice on here that people who stay in recovery have left at least one major relationship behind…
now i wonder if we were to view this as “my unhappiness in that relationship ,led me to seek gambling as an escape, rather that I ruined my marriage through gambling”…
Maybe we need to have a real brain shift…
Food for thought ?