Hi Hannah
Gamanon meets separately from GA although most groups, if not all, join together at certain times by invitation only.
Generally CGs will have lied many times to get enablement and often carry on lying when they first attend GA meetings. If the non-CG loved one was in the room they would probably get very upset and cry out ‘you’re lying’, which doesn’t help anybody. The beauty about a GA ‘CG only group’ is that the other members can spot the lies but can also relate to the behaviour – they have an understanding that most of us will probably never have and therefore they can support in a way that non-CGs cannot.
In Gamanon you will hear different stories and share similar experiences – at the root of it there is a determination to live without the gambling addiction controlling ones’ life. I found that listening to others was an eye-opener and a relief – they had said and done all the things that I had said and done and they had reacted to the addiction as I had done. I barely said a word for weeks without crying but I wasn’t pushed to speak, I just felt an overwhelming empathy that I had not received anywhere else. I think Gamanon would probably be a very good place for you.
I understand why you don’t want to tell your family or let your partner’s family know that he has a problem but unity and support is the best thing for a CG – I would be surprised if his family wasn’t concerned about some (or all) of his behaviour even if they don’t know it is a gambling addiction – they could be suffering in silence just like you. As your partner’s behaviour appears to be becoming even more unacceptable, maybe it is time to seek their support – if his stealing is found to be criminal his family will be thrust into the cycle of his addiction without any warning. Those around an active CG can protect themselves from the addition if they know what the problem is – without knowledge people do all the wrong things and help nobody.
I hope maybe we can meet tomorrow in the F&F group where you will be welcome. It is good to talk in real time.
Velvet
