Thanks p, Vera and kpat for your comments and support.
One of my biggest issues with stopping gambling is the period of being broke and bored I would have to go through, before my finances recover and that is where the patently false belief that I can get a win, not that will change my life but ease the next few weeks. For example this month, I have blown my overdraft trying to reduce it and give me some funds to maybe relocate, then borrowed 200 and lost it trying to get back some cash flow, then borrowed 100 to get through the month – but new I would and did gamble and lose, then got advance bill money same story.
And now thinking same again…..all of the above means of course I am deeper in the hole as I have to pay it all back and the thought of stopping is difficult when know it will mean months/years of poverty expecially when my job is not working out. I know this is not logical as I keep maing things worse as I am very rarely lucky. It is accepting the above situation which is so hard.