All of your emotions are normal! Realizing that you have been living with a CG turns your world upside down and makes you doubt everything about your relationship.
Yes you have been living with a liar for 2 years but that was the addict not the husband you love and married. The addiction is all consuming and they truly are 2 people… gambler and your husband.
You have done well to start taking over the finances. Although this feels like you are treating him like a child it can be a huge help to a recovering gambler. You wouldn’t leave alcohol readily available if he was an alcoholic. I found myself thinking ” I shouldn’t have to look after his money or ask for receipts” etc. but you now have a new normal and its honestly easier if you don’t fight it… it is what it is.
Go easy on yourself. This is not about the destination, it’s about the journey. Step back from it as much as you can to keep your perspective. Its so easy to get sucked into the chaos. Keep writing and see if you can find some support via a Gam Anon group.
You are not alone and you are doing great:)
Cathy