I read your other post too (some times it is better to stick to one post unless there is a dramtic change as otherwise people don’t know where to post or have missed parts of the story). Firstly, well done for managing the money, I know what a nightmare that can be and all the different ways you may be asked or tricked into giving them the money and how much it can wear you down. Was it his idea or yours to manage the money?
From what I read you pay the bills and his other expenses out of his wages and he then has the rest to spend on what he will, is that right? Then when has spent all that he comes to you and asks for a lend right? Do you see that when ‘lend’ the money for cigarrettes you are actually giving him more money to gamble? He knows he can spend all his money and then come to you for more for essentials so freeing up more money for gambling.
The only way to stop gambling is to stop, it is not something that can be controlled even ‘dry’gambling ie watching gambling or playing not for money, feeds the addiction.
Has he said he wants to get help? You can not make him, he has to want to otherwise no matter how good the help is he will just be going though the motions.
Can you find a way to make yourself less physically and emotionally available to him? Do you have any hobbies or interests, family you can visit or things you can do with your little one like going swimming or similar? This will give you some head space and time for you and make you less available to be nagged for money. If you can be conssistant and not give in to the requests for money then he may come to realise that is a pointlesss exercise but while he knows you find it hard not to then he will keep asking.
I really do feel for you and always say to f&f that a decision to manange the money although necessary is not one to be taken lightly, its hard, just rememeber you are doing it in his best interests whatever he may have to say about it.
Please keep posting and try a find some time for you, Lily x