Hi DM and welcome to the forum! So sorry in my late reply. I’ve been recovering from surgery and it seems every time I increase my activity level I end up needing a lot of sleep and miss keeping up with everyone’s posts.
This forum gave me an amazing amount of support, especially if you keep using it and people know you are going to stick around it gives them a chance to offer support. I also found GA helpful and attended meetings very regularly in the beginning. We don’t seem to think anything of the hours wasted traveling to or sitting in a casino. So a hour round trip and a hour or two meeting really is nothing compared to now likely.
I too was hiding the extent of my gambling and spending from my husband. I was very sick by the time I finally told him. I knew I had to. To save me! I had to stop or my life would be ruined whether he stayed or left. I was terrified and sick to my stomach all the time. I couldn’t sleep or eat. My anxiety and depression was getting unmanageable. Suicidal thoughts. He surprised me with his response. I thought he would leave for sure. But in the end he understood I had a problem. It would have been ideal for him to take over our finances but he just didn’t feel capable or have any interest! So I found a family member to do it. I needed financial accountability to someone. I didn’t want to have temptation or urges and access to money to gamble.
Please know you are not alone! The more you post the more you receive replies. Try and stick to one thread and keep adding your posts to it. That helps us keep track of you and how you are doing. In the beginning it is hard to think or do other things. Keep trying to find ways to distract from gambling. It takes time for our minds to get over this!
I managed 5 and a half years of gamble free time before I had a relapse. But I am back on the bandwagon and have another year without a bet. Life is good! Take care, Laura