Hi Dext
I am so sorry you have not had replies and I hope you are still reading the forum and that this post will be read by you.
I believe that by gaining knowledge of your mother’s addiction you will cope better and know what to do.
The addiction to gamble is not about money, it is solely about the ‘gamble’. Your mother wants money to gamble because money is a tool, a means to an end and not an end in itself.
It seems to me that your siblings are being used by her addiction as pawns – if you don’t enable then their mother they will suffer and if their mother suffers then so will they. Is there any other way these young children can be protected because giving their mother money is fueling her addiction which will increase without treatment. The suicide threat is similar, who can hear such a threat and not want to jump to the rescue?
I am wondering about an intervention – you have mentioned an uncle who is enabling and therefore unwittingly not giving your mother the support she needs. Would it be possible for you to get together and calmly discuss your mother’s problem, along with any other family members or friends who might enable her? With knowledge of her addiction, maybe as a family you could form a plan and then put it to her – not in the form of a threat (unless you are prepared to carry it out) but gently and with understanding. Your mother didn’t ask for or want her addiction anymore than you did; she is gambling to escape from life but her addiction is hurting her and all those who love her – maybe she could be taught gently to see that. Perhaps you could download the Gamblers anonymous 20 questions from their web site and ask her to answer the questions so that she can see the extent of the damage her addiction is doing to herself and those around her.
Don’t be afraid to talk about her addiction to those who can help because the addition thrives on secrecy to gain enablement – your mother won’t want you all to ‘know’ what she is doing but unity is good. There is a lot of support for active CGs – our Helpline and our CG groups are here for her as is GA which is very effective and which I am sure will have a branch local to your mother.
I hope you are still with the forum and that you will post again
Velvet
