HI Dave ,
It sounds like you are very stressed with everything .
You are feeling vulnerable right now and feel you might gamble .
I think you need to speak to a counsellor about all the strong feelings you have been having
.
I guess the first thing I should say is that nobody , not even you is responsible for you having a gambling addiction. If you have known you would have become addicted you would never have gambled – none of us would .
However , it is up to you to manage this addiction.
Your wife sounds very disrespectful towards you (although I realise I am only hearing one side ). There is never room for a mother in law in a marriage and if you don’t want to visit her then don’t . You can assert yourself and say no – you don’t owe anyone an explanation . It sounds like she has done a lot of damage in your marriage with her controlling behaviour – you didn’t marry her and she is not your relative!
You are entitled to a good life – it sounds like you are not getting support – but being ganged up on.you deserve respect as much as anyone else .
It sounds like you are difficulty asserting yourself- you allow your family and her family to basically bully you.
You are in control of your own destiny . You do not need anyone’s permission to live your life in the way you see fit .
You got mad at work- this often happens if we do not know how to assert ourselves – things build up and we lose it .
I think maybe you should do an assertiveness course – you deserve respect and your opinions are as valid as anyone else’s in the world .
Last thing – don’t escape by gambling – it will. Only make matters worse.
I hope this helps -you deserve a good life – a happy life – and a life with peace of mind !