Hi Cherilyn, some of what i am about to post to lelbow might well apply to your self as well but please also start your own thread where you can get support and feedback for yourself. Just scroll to the bottom of the My Journal forum and click on New Topic.
Lelbow, I hope you are reading the other stories here, you will see many that you wil relate to. You will aslo see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own stuation?
Well done on cancelling those sites. Did you get yourself banned from them as well? You can also get a blocker for your PC that will stop you finding another site. http://www.gamblock.com is one though there are others.
You will see on the other stories here that barriers like this help. Financial barriers as well. When you get paid how about setting an automatic transfer up so that your money moves to an account that you don’t have access to? Your husband could set up one for that. It would still be your money of course, just that accountability like that would mean you had MORE control over it as you wouldn’t be able to access funds to gamble with.
Your husband has said that this has broken trust? Of course it has. Trust doesn’t get rebuilt by words and promises, especially ones that have been said/made before. Actions speak louder than words and it’s actions like the ones I have described that will both make it harder for you to place your next bet and at the same time give your husband cause to think “Hmm, maybe she means it this time.”
Keep posting, you stopped befroe, this time you will have support both now when youa re stopping and ongoing to maintain your recovery.
keep posting and let us know the positive actions that you are starting to take.