Hi Cathy
It seems to me that it is an excellent opportunity to take a break from all the meanness in your life and get some peace.
It is sad but many CGs do say some terrible things to those around them who have tried to support and your mum appears to have a tendency to ‘cut people’ out whom she perceives have crossed her. CGs often drastically distort reality to fit their personal perception and your mother appears to be adept at doing this.
I can hear that you have really tried over the years but you could never save your mum from herself – only she can do that.
I can imagine how tough this must be when your mother is 82 but age does not stop a person taking responsibility for their life and it also doesn’t preclude them from causing terrible pain. It is not unknown however, for CGs to learn to control their addiction even at your mother’s age. Maybe you could download the 20-Questions from the Gambler’s Anonymous website and send them to her along with GA literature. The thought that this could be permanent is quite provoking but I am not sure what anybody could suggest that you could do differently. Even at 82 your mother is able to make choices both right and wrong but it appears she is only willing to make bad choices at the moment.
Look after yourself Cathy, you are now retired and it should be a relaxing time of your life – you deserve peace. If your mother doesn’t want you to have peace and is not prepared to seek peace for herself, then that is her decision but I sincerely hope that you will find the peace that her addiction seeks to destroy.
Such posts as this must leave anybody who reads them feeling a sense of despair at the futility of the addiction to gamble. I am sure you know your mother didn’t ask for or want her addiction anymore than you but you can only save yourself, you can only control your own life.
I wish you well; I wish you and your sisters peace. I hope that your mother will see the light and seek help but for now I suggest you enjoy the lack of the addiction in your life thanks to the distance from the problem.
Post whoever you want to do so – you are understood and you will always be heard
Velvet
