It’s good that you are going to start doing things that make you happy, it’s essential for the sake of your own sanity ! leaving you in a much better place to think or make more rational decisions.
Who knows what he will think about you becoming happier but looking after you is not a sign that his behaviour no longer bothers you either. Based on my own experience only, I would say that in the throws of the addiction, he would not be remotely bothered about what’s going on with you until after the event and for his own means until he accepts his problem and seeks recovery. The purpose is to help you, not to affect him. Addiction in my opinion is one of the most selfish issues around and many in recovery will tell you that they have had to be totally selfish and concentrate on themselves in order to work their recovery – a selfish addiction requires a selfish recovery, other people come later I’m afraid.
This is true for us too – we have spent a lot of time putting the needs of others before our own and what you are being encouraged to do calls for you to be selfish in order to begin your own recovery. It’s not easy, but like anything else – it gets easier. I no longer live with the addiction but still regularly ‘practice’ the art of looking after me – probably a little too much these days !!
However, I think it depends on what other boundaries you have in place as to whether he can perceive that his gambling no longer bothers you, no one is saying ignore the gambling or that it will no longer bother you – it’s time for you. The effect it had on me was to make me a lot more intolerant of the gambling to the point I walked away so the significance is not to be underestimated, all of our recoveries will be different.
I suspect the addiction will be confused and more rattled by the changes you are about to make, probably more so than confronting it head on, but I guess time will tell.
Give yourself a break, you deserve one
Jenny