Hi Carole! I think you are thinking of death because of all the stress about going back to the country and the passing of your mother in law and brother. I am proud of you for getting through this month without gambling. My next door neighbor at my new home died on Monday, she was 80 years old. Her adult son and daughter live with her. When I saw the fire truck and police car here last Monday, I freaked out. It brought back memories of the day my Husband died as I had to call 911 because he was dying on our condo patio. Something is triggering these thoughts of someone dying. Maybe the stress of the holidays which bring back painful childhood thoughts for you. I am sending you big hugs))) You will get through this. Go and enjoy the holidays with your Daughter and Grandchildren, they will put a smile on your face. Take care. You can always say anything here, no judging.
