Hi Carole,
I can so understand how u needed to escape reality for a little time and how this led you to gambling. You felt let down and overwhelmed by people but really you are carrying the awful burden of worry over your granddaughter with you day and night. It is difficult to distract ourself from such a worry, because its one we have little control over. There is no action we can take to fix things. It’s i a very very difficult situation and often we feel we can’t predict the outcome.
So Carole this worry is going to be with you for a while. Is there anything you can have in place for when It all gets too much ? Could u have a counsellor or is there a friend you could call? Do you need to maybe speak to your own doctor about the worry you are carrying? I think this isn’t a case of not having barriers but more a case of needing ‘time out’ from worrying!
You are amazing to come back here with such honesty. You made a mistake, had a slip but all is not lost . Do something nice for yourself Carole., something you will enjoy whether it be a massage, a manicure or a prayer group. Be kind to Carole for she certainly deserves it!!