Hi Buffdazza,
Well done on coming back here and being honest. Whatever form of recovery we use, Gordon House, GA, or whatever it’s only as good as the effort we put into it. Will going back to Beckenham and giving it 100% “cure” you? No, it’ll give you tools that wil help you live life without gambling. Like any tools it is then up to us how/if we use them. The same with GA really, if we put barriers in place, work recovery, address character traits etc then it can help us lead a gamble free life. if we sit at the back of the room dont say much and find reasons not to apply the thingsd we here, well it is less likely to do so.
If you think that going back to beckenham is the right thing to do then it IS the right thing to do. This time give it that 100% and use the tools it gives you. Then of course stick with the outreach programme, GA meetings etc to help maintain recovery.
What things have you put in place since you gambled? You said you “allowed yourself money”? Who can hold your money for you? How can you make it so that you can’t “allow yourself money” without being accountable for it? Keep posting and using the support you have here and at GA while you wait to go back to beckenham.