Hi Anonymous
Sometimes just getting things down in writing helps, so I hope that writing your post gave you some welcome relief.
We are not negative in this forum Anonymous, I wouldn’t be here if I thought for a minute that the addiction to gamble could not be controlled.
It seems that some gamblers take for ever to get the message but it certainly helps when all those who care about them stop enabling. Who is bailing your mother out and why? I am not being negative when I say that you are right that you cannot stop your mother gambling and that you are also right when you say you cannot stop others enabling her – but is it possible for you to make those people aware that they are harming your mother – to really bring it home to them the long-term damage they are wreaking. These are facts not negative comments.
I cannot tell you when your mother will have had enough but as long as there is no incentive for your mother to focus on controlling her addiction, I suspect her behaviour will worsen.
Do you have siblings or friends who feel as you do, or are you alone in your struggle with your mother’s addiction.
Your mother has an addiction and needs good support; your problem appears to lie with those around you mother who are not supportive. She is obviously unhappy – I suggest you get those around your mother to rally round and help her in a positive way rather than making recovery more difficult for her.
Please post again and let me know how you feel. It is not unusual for a gambler to receive treatment and then seem to reject the tools they have been given but some of what she has heard from the counsellors will still register with her and needs to be built upon by those who care about her. Positive action and support from those around her is needed.
It is important not to make every conversation about gambling – once again positive talk about a happy future is great, talking about holidays, friends, hobbies, family – in fact all the things she could have if she takes a leap of faith and becomes gamble free.
I wish you well
Velvet
