Hi All and thanks for your messages. Just been so wrapped up with “none gambling” lifes battles and changes had no real time to reply . But the new shoes are working fine …. and Kpat I know that flapping sensation only too well! A sign of the CG maybe. I know it was and is for me.
A belated happy new year to you all here.
This is day 4 of 2015. Had my first date in an age over the weekend (new shoes and top did not get new jeans) was in many ways a surreal experience. Out with other people in crowded bars but not alone as I normally do. I felt shabby and rough cut. I could see just how far back I have peddled. It was akward for a while. I am sure she could see looser written all over me.
Somehow crawled through the first hour then things loosened up. Maybe down the half lagers and a few shots thrown in helped. I was tired though … and felt it and looked it. But in the end the night worked. I found myself laughing having fun. We even ate a meal together. I purposely chose the cheapest thing on the menu. it was not noticed.
Then today back on the train home. Back to my life. Back to the grind. I have some pretty hefty personal debts. One of these could get nasty very nasty. I have to be careful with this one. So have tried to make contact with the person I owe this money to. I hope they get back to me in time so some kind of repayment plan can be put in place. The fallout from massively excessive gambling is all around me.
Thursday I fly to Denmark to visit my son. On this I am excited.