Hi Aidan
What are your doubts about going into the rehab?
If you don’t take this offer because of the reasons you have given it appears that you have not accepted the strength of your addiction.
Your parents are not a reason for you go into GMA; the reason should only be because your want to control your addiction but it would be strange if they were not steeling themselves ready for the next slip when you appear to be in denial of your addiction – they care about you and they don’t know what to do about your behaviour which you admit has deteriorated over the years. They don’t have a crystal ball, they don’t know when a true recovery might start.
I promise you that you will never disappoint your parents if you control your addiction.
Maybe you could contact the GT Helpline regarding staying in over Christmas – I can assure you that nobody actually wants you to do so including the staff who want their Christmas too. ‘If’ however and I really mean ‘if’, staying in over Christmas meant that you controlled an addiction that would take you to depths you cannot imagine if you don’t control it then what is more important – a lifetime free of struggle or a few days of Christmas cheer.
If you have your date, then maybe you should discuss your concerns with GMA who might agree with you that you are not ready – but from all you have said I think that you have just got cold feet which is completely normal.
Being accepted in the future would depend on GMA but of course with so many people wanting this opportunity there can’t be a guarantee.
Keep posting
Velvet
