Hi
I won’t write a username in case you are wanting to change – it makes it easier for the GT staff to correct your name to whatever you wish it to be.
Sadly, it seldom makes a difference when a loved one arranges counselling – it is the gambler who should want to seek support and take action because only he can save himself.
You are right that a gambling addiction will take you all the way down with it, if you allow it. From what you have said, I think it is important that you put your finances and your personal possession in your name only. I take it that the car was in his name?
‘He says “I can stop when I want”’ is a common retort from a compulsive gambler; it doesn’t mean that he believes it but is something he will desperately want to believe. A compulsive gambler who loves his addiction will not necessarily realise that his addiction hates him until he has been hurt badly enough.
This site is anonymous so maybe you could ask your husband to contact our Helpline or gamblers only groups – after all he has nothing to lose if he believes he is in control. The Helpline is one-to-one and the groups are private so he will be safe and nobody will judge him.
I assume that your parents are aware of your husband’s problem and that they are supporting you. It is so hard when you love a gambler and they do not appear to want to help themselves but only you can answer the question ‘What is there left for me to stay’?
I do know that your husband can control his addiction but he has to want to do so.
Please keep posting and maybe join me in a group where we can communicate in real time. I hope it helps to know that you are being heard and that you are not alone.
Velvet
