Reading your post was almost as if I had wrote it. The progression of gambling that started from an early age was exactly the same as your journey. The only difference being is that I was playing slots online.
I myself eventually hit rock bottom about 7 months ago and finally opened up to my family about what was happening in my life. They have unconditionally supported as did my girlfriend for a good couple of years. I tried for a very long time to carry on and pay my debts but unfortunately had to admit defeat. I had to declare myself bankrupt a few months back and I totally agree that even the word was scary.
7 months ago when I was eventually honest with myself about who I was and what I had done I now realise was the day my life took a different course. Since that day I have been gamble free but the one thing I underestimated was the reality of the deverstaion it had caused.
My girlfriend and I now live apart and have a very uncertain future, I’m bankrupt and also have to move.
I too am on the waiting list for Gordon Moody and will hopefully be in within 8 weeks. Although I have stopped gambling for some months I have found facing up to the reality of the situation and not running back to the safe zone of gambling is very difficult.
In short, every part of your post I can relate to and believe me you’ve done fantastic to get where you are currently. Keep up the good work and hopefully like myself you will grab hold of the rare opportunity to change your life for the better by being accepted into the programme