Sorry to hear of your recent news and interested in your views of enablement or reading on the subject I should say. In a previous post you talk about not enabling, not being used as a punishment, which I fully agree with, not enabling someone really is an act of kindness, after all why would we want to give the person we love the continuing means to further damage themselves ?
You also mention the clear necessity for self care and protection emotionally and financially which again I entirely agree with you. It might be worth reflecting on these points again when the dust has settled eg. paying off gambling debts = enablement, not bringing the thing he wants most from mexico = punishment. Self care meaning financially protect yourself by not paying off debt etc etc.
I understand how you may be concerned about his safety with his debts etc., but these are the choices that he is making and the consequences of which he may have to suffer or at least believe he will have to suffer if he continues to make these bad choices. He currently has no reason to stop.
Vera’s post gave you some insight and having read loads of accounts of the lives of people writing on My Journal as well as my own experience I’m afraid I have yet to read about a successful recovery whilst enablement is still available.
I too enabled for several years to both my own detriment and that of my ex partner
Jenny