Read your previous post to Jen – “don’t worry, we are human.”
Remember we are not our behaviour – don’t identify with it. It is the gambling which is a pathetic nightmare – NOT YOU!
You will pick yourself up from this – you did almost 2 months gf which was a great achievement – don’t let go of that.
When you have taken a bit of time to heal from the raw hurt of what has happened, look at the trigger. What caused you to drink and then gamble? What is it that you have not been dealing with? How did you get past your blocks to gambling? Can you now plug these?
All this is for the future – treat yourself gently over the next few days – above all don’t beat yourself up about it and don’t chase losses. You are hurting enough already – don’t make it worse. I wish you well.