Hey Steev. Thanks as always for your reply.
Yes I was beyond disappointed with myself that I blew the money I was waiting on to be withdrawn. I knew losing it would make the next month bloody tough financially. But I’ve spent the past few days working on accepting it and I actually no longer care that I lost it and have to live incredibly frugally this next month. Because I feel more relief than I could have expected by no longer having access to try and continue to win back these losses and I am just thrilled that I now can’t get in any more trouble. The losses have been crippling, and the anxiety I have felt these past 6 weeks have made me very sick.
I feel SO much less anxious and am listening to a good audio book by Alan Carr about how to stop gambling that is reminding me daily of how sick I was feeling. Last night I slept like a log again, and it felt amazing.
I haven’t made contact with GA because I had found this free professional support through another association that includes my counselling. So will stick with that for a while and see how I find it. The councillor takes his own group sessions that he suggested I come along to sometime too as he thinks it will help me greatly sharing my story and hearing others too. Problem is I need to be very very careful to hide all my appointments from my workplace so that they do not find out my problem. So I can’t attend much more than I am now with this weekly commitment during working hours.
I feel like I can breathe again. And I have worked through my finances and believe that I can be back to where I was financially 6 weeks ago in 3 months time with some hard work and tightly worked spending. And how I will feel when I have paid off my overdraft with a small amount of savings again in my account will be the best feeling in the world.
I’m getting excited now. I’m am so pleased I am here on this forum and have started with the professional help. I no longer feel alone after feeling so terribly terribly alone