hey Monica, a lot of addicts substitute. I substituted GT and other support groups. I would spend hours posting and reading and chatting. At one time the chat was open 24 hours a day. You could still set up a time to meet someone. I knew that somehow it was healthier for me than gambling. I was lucky in that I also had one on one with a gambling addictions specialist every two weeks. Every week in the beginning when I was distraught. Between my GA group who thankfully were fairly modern and flexible and counseling I slowly began to have a healthier life without gambling and much less time online using support. Hopefully as you continue to introspect you will figure out a way to move away from the ipad addiction. At least it is relatively harmless! Warm weather will help I’m sure. You can start doing more maybe. Things that are out of the house.
I’ve always thought that there are many people in today’s society that have addictions to what I would call more sociably acceptable things. Like work. Workaholics often have a lot of money and quite often this allows them to keep the trappings of life that are admired even though it is not a healthy way of life. It is still more sociably acceptable.
Before my first surgery over a decade ago I was on the upwardly mobile rise in my workplace. Old enough that my kids were out of the young years but I was still only in my mid thirties. I look at those I was rising with and where they are now and I could get bitter about all I have lost. I work part time. And thankfully my job came with disability insurance so I get a small income from them as well. I will never have what I would have but I will be grateful for what I do have. When I was having an awful day physically I would think of the refugees from many countries who have lost everything and must deal with bad backs without the luxury of a good mattress or heating pad or tele to keep them entertained. I haven’t been able to manifest a new back but I’m trying to be grateful no matter what! But I have not dealt with hunger and unfortunately we can’t seem to manifest food out of thin air. It is good to stay positive but it has it’s limitations as well.
I’m sorry about your friendship. I know how that feels and it is awful to lose someone close by choice. You will never be the person you were before as you are forever changed by this.
I also read back re the job (as you can see by all my subjects covered lol). Being authentic seems to be what we gain from recovery. You’ve made some money to grocery shop, I’m thrilled! Now you need rest and immune support. Take care of you. Epsom salt baths are wonderful. Source of magnesium which all our cells need on the base level to function.
xo Laura