Hey Everyone,
So this weekend was my birthday, and my girlfriend surprised me with a trip to a well known gambling area. I posted this a while ago, but decided to remove it as I didn’t want to promote making a decision to gamble. I tried to get out of it, even told her I believe I have a problem with gambling and it was addictive, but everything was paid for and she wanted to go. So, I decided that just for that weekend, I would allow myself to play. I gave myself a budget (which I withdrew prior). Here’s what happened:
We got there Friday, and we went to a buffet. It was amazing and the best part of the trip by far. All you can eat crab and everything else you could imagine. I paid for both of us even though she offered. This was in my budget that I didn’t really plan out (more on that in a bit). I took $500 in cash, but didn’t really think about leaving myself more in my checking account. After the buffet and drinks, I have about $200 left in my account, but still had $500. I brought this money to gamble, so I was okay losing it. We played a bit and my girlfriend said she was going to go to bed, but I could keep playing since it was my last night in my 20’s. Well, I think you all know this story. I stayed downstairs, proceeded to lose my $500, and then withdrew the $200 remaining and lost that as well. I went to bed really depressed.
Woke up the next day with $2 in my wallet. This was my birthday, and I told my girlfriend I lost my money last night. I told her I was upset with myself, but I wasn’t going to let it ruin my birthday. She wanted to play a bit, so I went downstairs with her and she gave me $10 to sit on a machine next to her. I hated taking that money from her, just hated it.
I played it off like I was having a great birthday, but I was actually super depressed about the whole day. Not having money sucks, I think we can all relate to that. Thankfully, it was my birthday, and she paid for everything, but I still do not like having people pay for me. I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of there the next morning.
I appreciate everything my girlfriend did, but I told her on the ride home that I have a gambling problem. I didn’t go into details, but I let her know that it is damn near impossible for me to handle myself in a casino. I don’t think she quite understood, but it’s fine. It’s hard for someone who has never gone through an addiction to really understand what it is like.
It’s not a big deal to me if she understands, because I am not gambling anytime soon. In fact, I knew how this would play out, and I am right back here (also planned that out). I am fine financially, actually in better shape this month then the last 7 months. I have no more loans other than credit cards, and I am looking forward to paying those off. I have absolutely zero desire to gamble now, but I did break some of my values this weekend (don’t act on impulse and don’t jeopardize your financial goals). I am looking forward to getting back on track and back into the groove of before this trip. Nothing is going to change in terms of my commitment. Even though this was planned, this is still my Day 2 (about to be Day 3) gamble free. Hope everyone is doing well.
–Nick