Keep writing, keep sharing.
The feelings of gambling are deep pain and isolated numbness I know how you feel. There is a way out — it isn’t going to be rapid. You’re angry numb and sad because you feel the pull of the spiral.
One thing I know you have to do is make sure you get lots of healthy activities and remember what else besides gambling interests you and push push yourself to immerse in those activities.
The voice of the addiction says all of those things/life doesn’t matter, but gambling does. It’s inverted and twisted. Placing huge bets doesn’t matter (at all) — your life means everything. Your emotions are numb to this right now and that voice saying otherwise is loud; don’t trust it. Don’t trust that voice twisting your feelings and priorities around.
I know it’s like coming out of a total mindtwist that this addiction creates. Keep sharing, and start one day at a time with some form of improvement. Step by step by step.
You can do this. I’ve only been here a few days and already improving a lot in getting my mind off the gamble/spread betting little by little.
Much love and support <3