Tara,
I understand it is important to remember the despair in order to work through the inevitable urges (and the rationalizing / romanticizing) and it sounds like you are formulating a plan for when that happens … good for you. If one thing doesn’t work try another.
I think anyone that’s done it has said that self-exclusion was, at one time or another, the only thing that kept them from gambling . It allowed them time to ‘rethink’ their pressing thoughts to gamble. I hope to read tomorrow night that you have done this – for your sake of course.
If no one was in the chat room, you must have logged in to the un-moderated chat room. If you notice on the schedule under “Support Groups”, the Un-moderated chat rooms are available after 6 pm. Anyone can join when they’re open, but unfortunately it is hard to catch someone there.
All of the groups before 6 pm will have a GT facilitator available to chat with, along with any other eligible members that happen to jump in. Gamblers (designated in your profile) can’t join the Friends and Family group chats and vice versa. Both can join the Community groups. Things said in these group chats remain private.
The Live Advice Helpline is usually open in the mornings (mornings here at least) and it is available to anyone. However, it is a one-to-one chat with a GT advisor, so you may get right in or you may have to wait until an advisor is available. Maybe you could give this a shot in the morning?
I hope this helps.
Adele