Thank you so much for your thoughtful post. We have been stuck in the same cycle for years. Including may separations the last one for over a year.
This is the first time I feel like there mat be a different way to do things. I have sort help but always felt confused? If I knew what to do differently then I would!!!
You have such insight that gives a different perspective. If he comes here he is less rude shall we say than when I take our daughter to his moms but I choose to leave here a lot of time for practical reasons. To go to shops etc. Generally you are right its because of the anger. You are also very spot on in that it changes nothing!!
I have never identified that his mothers involvement hinders rather naively. I couldn’t image ever having anything other than my daughters best interests at heart. She is my whole world , its my my job to assure her growth development and happiness so assume its so for everyone. How naive!! My own parents have passed away and I really miss my own mother particularly in such difficult times. For many years I struggled with the idea of the addition being an illness (my mother died of cancer) but I can see this more as time goes on but really struggle with the bad treatment of our daughter.
I tell our daughter daily daddy loves her very much and she will see him soon. I never say today because I know it will change. I have had text saying he can’t see her tomorrow as planned as he has no petrol. I would usually ignore this and ring in days asking when he would see her then ? He shouldn’t let her down etc. I have said OK this time she is good but would love to see him soon. I will see if there are ant developments . He generally thinks its OK to be rude to me if we have any contact at all.!!
I will try the helpline thanks. Many thanks for helping me see a different perspective. I need to think I am doing what I can . our daughter needs a father I can survive either way but she is worth so much more!!!
Kind regards Velvet