Hi Sweepy, I don’t have much to add to what Velvet has said already. It sounds like you and your husband are doing all the right things. Controlling his access to money or even delaying it is a really big help to a CG in recovery but no matter how often you check up on him you can’t stop it happening what can is him being in recovery and he is seeking help for that.
Trust is easy to lose and difficult to rebuild that is for sure. Improving your own self esteem and rebuilding your relationship so there can be an atmosphere of openness and true communication is key. As Velvet says look for the signs of change in him as a person as these are the clues that recovery is happening.
I have just started to rebuild my relationship with my partner who is a CG and for us a long period of separation was needed to get to the point where we had both worked on ourselves to have trust and openness restored. My partner has been through treatment and I see the change in him after a long road. Sadly nothing will stop a CG from gambling except themselves, if they want to they will find the money somehow, it is only when a real change in mind set comes through support, treatment, counseliing and hard work that recovery is really underway.
I still have counseling to help keep me in balance and my partner still has support and his access to money controlled, this may always be the case but it may also well be the case that he never gambles again, many people do have successful recoveries and some peoples journey is longer than others.
I find that focusing on me rather than on him, creating a safe place in the relationship where we can both talk openly about everything (not just the gambling), and taking each day as it comes really helps both reduce my anxiety and support his continued recovery.
Do keep posting, there is always someone here to listen. Lily x