Good morning, Sam. I hope you slept well and feel a little refreshed. It sounds like you went into a very ‘low’ period in the past few days. In your previous posts you had seemed more resilient and I am sure that resilience and one-day-at-a-time determination will return. Do you think this anxious, sad time has been brought on by the ‘New Year’? – another time, when people are ‘supposed’ to be happy and party-ing? It can make you feel awful if you are not part of it – but of course many people are not part of that scene. Perhaps things will start to feel more ordinary as ‘normal life resumes’ around you??
I am concerned that you felt so alone, though. What support network do you have around you? Can you talk to anyone? I note that you have a lot of anxiety and fear about money, benefits etc – the holiday time can be painful, when you are not sure what is going to happen, but please try not to blame yourself about not having a job and needing benefits. It is ok. The important thing is to stay away from gambling so that you give yourself the best chance to see things improve for you.
Are you getting into groups? – here or GA etc?
Keep in touch.
All good wishes,
Monique