Hello Little Sys
I understand why you want your brother to be responsible and tell your parents, however, in my opinion, the fact that he has asked you to tell them is good. Your parents have unwittingly enabled him and maybe now they can seek support, as you are doing, for themselves. Understanding your brother’s addiction is not easy but understanding that his addiction is not his fault, or their fault, or anybody else’s fault will perhaps help. I think that maybe it is good that you have the initial conversation with them so that you can gently prepare them for what is probably going to be a terrible shock, they may well feel unnecessary guilt. It is important that they stop enabling your brother but in my view this is best said with kindness and understanding rather than in anger. Anger is understandable but it does not help anybody is this situation.
Are your parents in Romania or the US?
Obviously, video and texting are not the best methods of communication, but it is important to keep communication with him open.
Your brother, sadly, owns an addiction that destroys self-confidence and self-esteem whilst offering him only failure, depression and misery. It is no wonder, I think, that he has a problem communicating his feelings.
I think the best thing you can do for your brother is to keep listening and perhaps let him know where he can get further support. We have a terrific Helpline on this site and we offer great facilitated, gambler-only, groups, your brother would be welcome, understood and supported. All our support is anonymous so I suggest that he has nothing to lose by trying us and hopefully everything to gain. GA is great, he can meet people who are in different stages of recovery including those who live gamble-free.
Your brother is, naturally, uncomfortable about what he is going through but he can live gamble free, if it were not so I would not be writing to you.
Please keep posting but in the meantime please take care of yourself. You are not responsible for your brother but sadly his addiction can pull you down too – if you allow it. Well done writing, what must have been, a very difficult post.
Velvet
