Welcome from me too. I had also noticed you had more than one ‘thread’, but this one looks like it is now the one to build on.
It sounds as if you are feeling quite desperate just now. I note that you want to gamble to escape the problems in your life, but then find that the escape is short-lived and the problems remain – just getting worse all the time.
I wonder if you can aim to have a peaceful conversation with your husband, telling him a bit about your own fears and anxieties (owning your own feelings, but not blaming or accusing in any way) and also that you do love him very much and need his love too? As you say, your actions may mean that he thinks you no longer care about him. Can you ask him calmly if he will help you to start recovery?
As Harry has said, gambling is a serious and ‘crafty’ addiction and it will not just go away. It will take determined effort and you will need support, but if you decide you really want to change things, you can get there. Your husband may need more information to help him understand things, too, and support for himself. If he can give you the right help, it will be good for you both.
So do use all the resources here. I have two groups this evening, for example – 20.00 and 21.00 hours UK time.
Best wishes,
Monique