Hi Trinity
I am so glad you have been able to start the job, although sorry that you feel so stressed. Do you say the Serenity Prayer? – it can be useful to help you centre in the here and now and on what is possible rather than on the things outside your control.
It must feel horrible worrying about being ‘outed’ as you say, but today I hope you can find the focus just to do the job moment by moment to the best of your ability. We cannot tell you how or when it will feel different, but I think if you can live in the moment, it should be a little easier – and, maybe the job will go really well and become a part of you putting the past behind you. I don’t want that to sound glib – I do recognize it is not easy; but try to hold on to hopeful thoughts as much as you can.
We all want you to have a good future.
All good wishes,
Monique