Hello again
I think that you are going well, you are very brave and just take it day by day or hour by hour whatever you have to do to deal with what you are going through. This has brought you to a place where you don’t want to gamble anymore, this is perhaps your rock bottom. The serenity prayer helps me a lot ” god grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to know the difference”
Glad you are still posting trinity, keep at it, better times will come
P