Welcome to this site. Kin has already written with some good ideas and suggestions.
Gambling was an escape from pain, but it now causes much more pain for you. You have shown that you can stop, as you did for a time. This time, let it be a fresh new start, where you take it step by step, day by day and gently and gradually move into a better life for yourself.
I also wonder if you are able to talk with your wife about how you feel about your past – it is painful for both of you. But perhaps she is not fully aware of the impact of her words. Would she be willing to discuss her feelings with someone outside the family, too? A professional counsellor? Or make use of the Friends and Family support?
As Kin writes, you can start a Journal here, attend the support groups, use the helpline, read the comments and stories of others, who are finding a way to recovery and health.
It sounds as if you have been totally overwhelmed by all that has happened, but slowly but surely, you can emerge to find a new way of life, with the right support in place.
Best wishes,
Monique