Hi Jenny,
I’m White Tara and new to the forums. As a way of an introduction before I make comment, a month ago I ended an 11 year relationship with my CG. I learned more than I wanted to about gambling and have been taken to all the emotional highs and lows I never thought possible. LIke we all have. Done things I never thought I would do, stupid, stupid things, some I daresay fraudulent. I had been dissociating for the last couple of years (my cg and I were not in a romantic relationship or married or had kids,but we did love each other and lived together in my house ). Everything came to a crisis point and I had to take direct action to protect myself. I sought help from Gamcare and the National Problem Gambling Centre and Women’s organisations.As a result I do have a 12 month non-molestation order too protect me now. Today I feel the safest I’ve felt in a long time. I am getting to know myself again as I was swallowed up into the black abyss of an enabler. I used to say there were three entities in this relationship, me, the CG and gambling!! I have cried everyday but each day is getting easier. When I feel myself feeling sorry for him or remember some of the fun times, I bring myself back to the reasons why I had to take the actions I did, to protect myself and my future. I wanted a gambling free future no matter how much I loved my CG. He was always in denial….I eventually learnt I had to put myself first and I don’t regret it.
So I read your first post and saw it was written in 2015. So I scooted down to the last couple of messages to see where your at now.
In all honesty I read your last post and I felt such anxiety and sickness. Like Vera says WAKE UP!!! and I’m saying HE HAS WORKED HIS WAY BACK IN!!!!! Look at how far he has pushed you, look at how leaky your boundaries have become and in a short space of time.
Now you have to go back to where you were previously and make up a story as to why he can’t see the children. Your head is spinning!!
Have you checked out his browsing history on the internet? or has he cleaned it?
Maybe it is time to think about getting some kind of legal protection for yourself especially if he’s using your name and got access to inside your house when you’re not there.
Ultimately, you know what you have to do.
Love and Light
Tara
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