Hate is a very fleeting emotion. It is strong but will pitter out before you know it so don’t let it be the only fuel you use to run your recovery on. You need to find where you want to be in 10 more years and let that guide your decisions. Do you ever want to retire? You wont ever if you keep going. You will keep working forever to fund the casinos.You are in a tough spot at this point with so much in jeopardy. Is it really worth losing everything you have for one more trip to the casino?
Fear can be a great motivator as well. If you read the stories on this site you can see that they are in or have been in the same place as you. In debt. Relationships in tatters. Bleak outlooks. They also have the desire to stop and the need to put the gambling out of their lives. Fight for what you really want. A job,a family, a home that is yours? It is plain to see that you will not be able to have all of those WITH gambling. It will have to be without .
Good luck on your travels and use this period as the trial. Put it to good use. Start a new habit. When your not working go for a walk or to the gym if at a hotel. Swim. Read. Each day that you are gone and do not gamble post here. Make a record of your success. It works.