Hi Faubourg,
I’m really sorry to hear that life has been so difficult & scary & that you feel so fed up at the moment. I hope that things improve & that you start to feel more in control of your life.
It’s very important to have support especially when you feel like you are fighting for your own survival. I am fairly new to this forum too but I think you will find many supportive & inspiring people here who are ready to help without judgement. My brother is a CG & some days I find it very hard to cope with all the twists & turns of my life. When I start feeling helpless I have been trying to come back to this forum to get some inspiration & strength. It has really helped!
You must be a very strong person though to get through all of the challenges you have faced. Maybe it doesn’t feel like it now but in time you will see that every time you choose to keep going (rather than giving up) you are one step closer to getting your power & balance back. Don’t lose hope!
Hope it helps to know that someone is thinking of you & that you are not alone.
Take care of yourself.