IDI what a shite gambler you really were. You would have lost that bet.
I think you are doing the best thing for YOU by getting this out, resentments is a bad thing to carry around with you.
I replied to your post twice and then deleted it, for fear of getting banned from the site myself, but I am going to try and post it in a more “politacally correct way” here.
In a nutshell I got banned off here once, twice actually, both times I think were grossly unfair. But I’ve accepted it and left it in the past. The most recent time, was probably about six years ago when the website was orange, as opposed to purple, I didnt get banned for colourism by the way. I got banned because I posted about the closure of the ex-res group. GT had and still have a policy where if they think a post is inappropriate, they can lock it so no one can reply, or delete it and if they deem necessary ban the user. It was locked first so I posted on another thread asking why, it was Janey who banned me and in order to get un-banned I had to phone up. She said I should apologise but I wouldnt because what I had done wasn’t offensive and I wasn’t going to apologise unless I believed I’d done something wrong.
I don’t hold any resentment towards Janey or GT because rules are rules, and I suppose they’ve got to have some. That said I think it is ridiculous that they dont have any sort of appeals process for when they ban people.
I do firmly believe that the staff are here to help, but even the experts can make mistakes, it dosn’t matter what qualifications they have or how long they’ve spent studying psychology and/or addiction to become an expert. “To Err is human” Not one of us actually knows what another’s thought are. But I think at times we can all see or guess and judge what we think is going on, and every one of us has the capability to be wrong.
I do get your point, and I do understand it, and I felt a little bit like that in my recent goings on with my partner. But I think you are wrong completely and so was I, in my recent assumptions concerning F+F.
I do vaguely remember you, and Vera, making some comments a while ago in the other forum about enablement..I was quite taken aback to be honest but I didnt know the full story so said nowt. Maybe thats not the time your’e on about in any case.
I’m pleased you’re not letting it distract you from posting honestly now. But I really think you’re wrong to say that somebody would be pleased to see your continued failures, but in any event you are having continued successes now. Don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing you fail.
You’ve posted a lot for a while about on-line bullying, I’ve never really been on the end of it, but I suppose at times, the way I post to people I could have been accused of it. At the end of the day IDI when we are online, as much as we get to “know” each other and build up trust (or mistrust ), respect, (or dislike), We are all faceless people who are typing words into a computer very few of us actually know each other and we do paint pictures of the actual person in our own heads. Mind you, you know, I met that Vera and she hasn’t really got a halo. I don’t have a check shirt, I was surprised to learn eraser was a woman, I just presumed by reading her threads she was a man. That was the football bets…so easy to jump to conclusions.
How much sense this post is making I do not know, by the way. Sometimes it is difficult to explain what you mean.
I cant agree about the forumism though, I can see where you are coming from and that is how I felt. I’ve done well this year but when I decided to help my mate, I felt it was as if those on F+F who do know that I’m my partners CG took her side without even considering my motives and almost instantly they had me judged and boxed off as putting myself in jeopardy, and also my recovery and thinking of the consequences for anyone other than myself. The more I tried to explain myself on here in my posts about the whole thing the more I felt it was another nail in my coffin.
But and this is a big but…look>BUT. What we have to remember is that the people who post on F+F are the victims of our addiction, not theirs ours. Most have had many years of being “shat upon from a great height” and a lot of people there will quite understandably be very sceptical about anything a CG does or says. They go to F+F in desperation, the same as us coming here we try to gain an understanding and an acceptance of what it is.
The person who you originally posted to in F+F maybe didn’t welcome your original input and when you further tried to explain yourself maybe they construed that you were trying to bully them. They’ve got enough on their plate with the problems in their lives caused by “their CG” and maybe complained. I don’t know.
Anyway IDI…This is your thread, this is for you, this is where you are starting your new life and you should use it to your benefit. I think it’s quite evident you are benefiting from it now. The closer we are to our last bet the more distorted our thinking is, the mindset is completely different.
One other thing though when you mention all the “ism’s” I get sexism, I get ageism, homophobia ( I dont mean I get them like I’m a victim, I mean I get it as in I understand them).
I have never ever understood why people use the word racism, it winds me up no end. (I may have posted this on here before sorry if I have).
When people say racism they mean probably colour prejudice or bigoted hatred maybe but racism is the wrong word. Suppose I was talking to two black men, and one of them said to me “Oh go and f off you white honky” and his mate said to him, “Dont say that its racists”. They are both as guilty as each other..because the second man by saying it is racists is basically saying there is a difference in race between white and black people thus making the assumption there is a divide.Its complete bunkum we all belong to the same race, do we not? The human race. Whatever the colour, religion, nationality or any other factor in any persons make up we are all human beings we all belong to the same race.
Maybe there might be an element of truth in your feeling of forumism, but even if there is there is nothing you can do to change that. It looks like you’ve left that behind now though.
Now I bet you wish you’d never mentioned your previous posts.
PS four bloody weeks, nobody racist, sexist, homophobic or forumist can take that from you. As you so often say…..onwards and upwards.