You are not alone, Monica.
Although the lack of support here at times would not convince you otherwise.
I often feel like a rusty gate creaking.
If you are really feeling down I suggest you phone the Samaritans. Its a wonderful Service. Always someone on the other end to listen. No judgement .
I agree that nobody can rescue a CG but many people can help you to rescue yourself. Help comes in strange ways.
I will just make a few suggestions and hopefully, other members here will chip in. I guess most people are busy with their own lives.
Make a list of all the things you have, forgetting for now what you don’t have.
Do you have food, a phone, accommodation?
I know your home is at risk but if you make a phone call to mortgage company , asking them to put a stay on the repossession order you can buy some time and try to set up free legal aid. Of course you need to admit that gambling is at the root of your problem . You have already admitted that to yourself. Why not go to your GP and explain how you are feeling and get a referral for counselling or residential treatment. I have met lots of people who came back from the brink of suicide, financial destruction, prison and other disasters. There is a lot of help available. You just need to get the right person to help you to start the ball rolling. Your GP or local priest minister might be worth calling on. Would you consider doing that?
