Thanks for your post. I am a little confused – are you saying that you gambled 20K yesterday that was supposed to be a deposit on a house for you both. If so – I am not surprised that you feel guilt, remorse and regret. Perhaps you need to feel these feeling and to remember them so that when you get the urge to gamble again (which will happen) you can remember these feelings as the consequences of gambling.
I am guessing that you know the drill about banning yourself from gambling premises and online – giving your finances over to a loved one and getting support. You have been attending GA. I know that even with all these things in place I gambled. I had the guilt, regret and remorse and I felt I just had to knuckle down and do even more to recover – really work my recovery. Have you spoken to your wife yet about your latest gamble? She may need support herself – from this site or from Gamanon or similar. I hope you can both get through this and I wish you well.