Hi Lauren,
I saw your name in the group last night but the print wouldn’t appear, which is not only unsupportive but it’s also VERY frustrating. Especially for members who need instant support.
Ah, well, that’s Life!
Feeling “hopeless, worthless and a huge failure” is the gift gambling bestows on us. These feelings serve to initiate further gambling and on it goes until the ” remorse becomes less because we are numb and immune to it”. This condition is precisely what allows us to drift further down the waterfall, refusing to hold the bucket to catch even the dregs. “I can’t stop even when I win” could be rephrased. “I can’t stop ESPECIALLY when I win”.
We could write about this problem for ever, Lauren. (paper won’t refuse ink!) We could visit Support Groups, talk at GA , cry salted tears, promise ourselves a New Life, swear “never again” to loved ones and yet gamble madly when the opportunity arises.
We are NEVER immune from this insidious “disease”.
It grabs us , when we least expect it and it has nothing to do with money at all. That’s the deception that keeps the proverbial wheels in spin.
I had plans for last night/today. They went “belly up”. All night, I magnified the situation in my mind. (CGs are good at that) The conclusion I came to was “what the hell! I will take myself to the casino because there is no point in making the effort to be good”. (The words to describe my feelings were less tame, actually but I don’t want to be too explicit on the www!)………..then I read your post. I disagree when you say “Gambling is not going to give me what I want”. Unfortunately it does. For a while and then it takes it back.
If gambling didn’t give us “something”, none of us would gamble but that’s a topic for another day.
TODAY I just need to convince myself and I hope you do likewise that the only thing we can do is make it impossible to gamble.
Just for today.
