you sure are putting a lot more into recovery it seems and you are looking at how to live life without the thrill it provided. We must relearn what is a normal expectation and what isn’t. Trying to find ways that will satisfy us is key. sure gambling was thrilling but it was often too short lived. The cost for the thrill way too high as well. I am trying hard to live a normal life that is full and satisfying at the same time. Last week I did have moments where I thought I could go because after all look at how much I had already saved by staying away for 21/2 months. I saw it as a real achievement and felt that in almost 9 months I spent 12 grand and that wasn’t so bad if I divided 12 in 9 it would mean I had spent 1050 each month. I told myself I could manage that. It was the 3500 I spent in one night that was wrong and if I never did that again all would be ok. I even asked my Doc what he thought about me going every now and again. He feels that I would just find myself in the same boat i was in before, it would be just a matter of time. I feel he is right and I am trying to change that dialogue that creeps in from time to time. I hope that I can continue to talk myself out of the urge all the time and hope you can too FG
