Good morning Monica,
I think that is what you need, a big dose of love. I ask for it in my marriage now and do get it to a certain degree. I find after being married for almost 30 years we continue to grow. Sometimes i’m asking the question whether to stay or to go still. But this time I won’t throw all my money in a slot machine!
I understand that you don’t want to be running to your boys all the time. But I don’t think they would like the idea of their mother starving and suffering. You have been tromped on hard by this addiction yet mama lion still protects her cubs. And it truly isn’t a state that you are going to stay in.
Baby steps. I always used to say that sometimes just hanging on and not losing ground is a step.
Priority #1 is Monica’s health.
I really liked IDI’s idea of taking your food stamps and picking up some staples if you can. You won’t be this way forever. Imagine how much courage it takes people every day to walk into a food bank. I think its the fear of being seen by someone we know going into a food bank. As gambling addicts i think we feel even worse because we know we had the resources to feed ourselves and we gambled them a way. We put ourselves in this position.
That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve the help any less!
Health is everything as I know you know. I am praying that you get what you need to feel better. With your strength I know you will tackle it all tooth and nail.
Be very kind to Monica today!
Laura