Hello Debbie and welcome to the forums.
I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with this terrible addiction. As a fellow addict who has lost tens of thousands gambling, I can truly sympathize with your daily struggles mentally and financially.
I know this might sound like a cliche, but If you truly want to overcome the addiction, you really have to completely quit cold turkey and probably seek help If you can’t do it yourself. There really is no other way to recovery besides quitting completely. Most of us CG:s know and realize that, but the addiction is so strong and fighting the urge takes real mental discipline.
For myself at least it feels like the hardest part isn’t quitting gambling itself but to mentally accept the money I lost to it. I have tried to chase my losses, only to find myself losing every bit of money, even If I eventually happen to win 2k, 4k, or even 11k. Nothing is enough for the compulsive gambler.
My last bet was under 24h ago, so I might not be the best spokesperson on the subject of time eventually healing wounds, but I understand the theory behind it and believe the losses get less bitter as each day passes. Good example is Justyn Larcombe, who managed to lose almost a million at one point of his life only to recover fully from the addiction and is now completely debt free and living a good life.
You should also set yourself some positive goals outside of gambling (and money), like exercising and managing relationships. Those things cannot be bought with money.
I wish you the best of luck in road to recovery and hope that you write again soon!