Dear diary
I was experiencing a new struggle I never had in the last 11 months, I was slowly losing not only my focus and also my motivation in recovery. It was a painful period, things was just not happening the way I would have like it during these time.
What had happen 2 days ago may change everything, it has given me a new hope, a new reason, a new energy, a drive and a new push to improve on what I have already done. Progress was painfully slow but that was the only way I know to made amend.
They are one of the most honest and trusting people I met. They are always on my mind, they don’t deserve to be my victim, nobody does but my list to made amend is too long and the sum is way beyond my means.
I have not met them for more than 15 years. They cannot recognize me, I have grown old, fat and bald. My dressing is sloppy and not sharp, I was not the same person they knew. I could have walk away but I did not.
I knew I can do something for them now as a result of my recovery, I didn’t want them to end up as my victim till their last days. It was one of my biggest regrets in life.
I have thought about it many times, I thought that I may not be able to made amend to them in this life time.
I do not have the means now but I still walk up to them and ask them whether they are the couple I know. I was not very sure myself, look can change over the years.
I was correct, they are the nice couple I knew, I ask the husband how old is he now, he told me he was 68 years old.
I do not have the immediate means but I thank God for giving me the opportunity to do something for this man, it may take me 10 months or more.
This is a 68 years old man, how long can he wait for me until I have the means, to them, it was a forgotten bad experience and they must have given up hope. For me it is either now or never to made amend to this man.
My mum is 86 years old. I am 50 years old and unhealthy, time is not on my side but I sometimes forgets and thought that I have a whole lifetime to made amend later and continue to hurt them intentionally or unintentionally.
Thank you God!
Thank you for sending this couple to me to save my recovery.